Cancer does not just affect your health. It can change the way you look, the way your body feels, and the way you see yourself. Hair loss, surgical scars, weight changes, skin reactions, fatigue that shows on your face, these physical changes can shake something deep inside you, something connected to identity, dignity, and self-worth.
Grieve the changes. You are allowed to mourn the body you had before. You are allowed to miss your hair, your energy, the way your clothes used to fit, the face you used to see in the mirror. These losses are real, and minimizing them does not help. Saying things like it is just hair or at least you are alive, while well-intentioned, can dismiss a very valid kind of grief. You can be grateful to be alive and still be heartbroken about what cancer has taken from your body.
Your body is not who you are. This might sound like a simple idea, but sitting with it, really sitting with it, can be transformative. Your identity was never truly housed in your hair or your weight or the shape of your body. It lives in the way you love people, the things that make you laugh, the values you hold, the way you show up in the world. Cancer can change your exterior, but it cannot touch the essence of who you are.
Reclaim what you can. Some people find empowerment in head scarves, wigs, hats, or boldly going without any of them. Some people discover a new relationship with their body through gentle movement, comfortable clothing, or creative self-expression. Some people get tattoos over their scars, turning marks of pain into art. There is no right way to navigate this, only your way.
Talk about it with someone who understands. Body image struggles during cancer are incredibly common but often go unspoken because patients feel they should just be grateful to be alive. You can be grateful and still struggle. These feelings are not in conflict. A therapist, a support group, or even a friend who truly listens can help you process what your body is going through and what it means to you.
Be patient with yourself on hard mirror days. There will be mornings when you look at your reflection and feel a wave of sadness or anger or disorientation. On those days, be gentle. Remind yourself that you are looking at someone who is fighting one of the hardest battles there is, and that body, changed as it may be, is carrying you through it.
Your scars, your changes, your new reality, they tell a story of survival. You do not have to love them, but over time, many people come to see them not as what cancer took, but as evidence of what they endured. And there is a fierce, quiet beauty in that.